Every time I hear the term pre-baby body, I shudder a bit. Mostly because it’s usually a mom saying something to the effect of “wow, I really wish I could get my pre-baby body back.”
Honey, I feel you. I loved my pre-baby body. My boobs were perky, I had zero stretch marks and my hips weren’t as big as the landing zone for a commercial airliner.
Here’s the thing though, I have had two kids. My pre-baby body is never going to return. I can exercise and get back to that pre-baby weight, but that body is gone. Just like my virginity is long lost and I am officially a married woman. Sure, I can un-marry, but I will still have been married at one point, just as I have had a baby. There are just some things you cannot change. Also, I would rather be married.
It seems that as women when we are comparing ourselves we assume there are other moms who have been unscathed by the birth of their children, but that just is not true. We are all affected. Yes, there are some that are less minor, maybe your friend doesn’t have stretch marks, but we have all been changed.
Embracing those changes are what makes motherhood very difficult. Along with our new bodies we also have a new person to care for. A person who depends on us entirely for their life. Without us, they cannot survive. That knowledge, in and of itself, is absolutely terrifying. When my mother left after a week of helping me with my first newborn, I bawled. I was so unsure of what to do. How in the world was I going to keep this precious baby alive and thriving and not mess him up? I had no idea. Honestly, I still do not know. I am certain I am making mistakes, but I am trying my best.
Now, add the weight-no pun intended-of your own body. Most of us are frustrated by all the changes motherhood has caused and facing our own bodies is one of these dreaded changes. My plea to you is to embrace these changes and give yourself a break.
I am going to estimate that at one point in their lives most women have tried a diet. I know I have. Most mothers jump on this diet train after having a baby, they are entirely certain that if they hit that pre-baby number all will be well in the world. I can tell you right now, none of that is true. You can weigh a certain number and still be unhappy, happiness stems from you, your mind and your surroundings. If you are being told you need to lose weight to feel better, you will probably believe it. This is what society tries to tell you, this is what your weight loss group (that you are paying) is trying to tell you. DO NOT LISTEN TO THEM.
I am the happiest I have ever been; I am also the fattest I have ever been. I am happy because I have let go of society’s judgement. I am doing what makes me happy and I have a wonderful support system who does not measure me by my weight or looks.
My challenge to you is to join me in loving your post-baby body. I have literally created a 30 Day Challenge to help you love yourself. You can find the link to the beginning here.
I hope you know you are loved, you are worthy of love, no matter what your size and I hope you can begin to love yourself as well! And, let’s stop wishing for our pre-baby bodies, because our bodies now, rock!!