As an introverted mother I often feel guilty. Especially for my children, but after giving it much thought I have decided that being an introverted mother has actually helped my children in many ways. Many introverted mothers feel that they are harming their extroverted children or holding them back. I am here to tell you this is not true. Here are the eight ways being an introverted mother has actually helped my children.
1. It forces them to talk to others. Both of my kids are very outgoing. I do know a lot of this is personality based, but I also feel because I don’t talk a lot, they take over. When strangers approach us I make my kids talk to them. Maybe not the best approach for stranger danger, but I’m there, so it’s safe. My kids will talk your ears off while I nod and smile.
2. I read a lot. Most introverts I know read all the time. We like to be in our own little worlds. When my children see me read, they want to read. It’s a large part of all of our lives. We don’t make it to the library as much as my kids would like, because I would rather be home, but it’s one of our more common outings.
3. I spend a lot of time with my kids. Being introverted I don’t get out much, because, wow, it’s exhausting. So, most of my time is spent with my kids. I would rather be with my family than anyone else.
4. We nerd out together. If I’m not reading it’s likely that I’m watching tv and movies. Most movies we watch are super hero or star wars related. My kids can tell you more about the ships of Star Wars than I can.
5. My love for writing has been extended to them. A lot of introverts also love to write. It’s how we express ourselves, since we don’t talk as much, we often write to let our feelings out. I wrote notes to my children all the time and tell them about articles I’ve had published. I think this is great for them to see me in action!
6. I choose my words carefully. I often have an entire conversation in my head before I actually speak to another person. From what I’ve read from other introverts, this is common. We like to have conversations prepared and we only talk about things that really matter. Small talk is not an introvert’s thing. That being said, this means we usually only talk about important issues and this is what our children hear. They learn to have meaningful conversations from a young age.
7. They learn to conquer their fears. As an introverted mother, I hate confrontation. However, I am a mother and will do anything for my kids. My kids see this and they know I hate it, but they also know I will do anything for them. This has taught them they can overcome their own fears. My eldest was not keen on trying new foods, but after seeing me approach another mom about a delicate situation he knew he could try new foods, too.
8. They dedicate themselves to their friends. Like most introverts I only have a few close friends. Friends who are willing to attend our kids parties, even though they do not have children. When I do attend an event it’s for these close friends and my children learn to dedicate themselves to their own friends. Even if it has to be all 24 of them. Which is only unfortunate for me. We are also more likely to have their friends in our home so I do not have to leave and they learn to be generous hosts, as well.
Being an introvert doesn’t have to be all bad. It turns out there are a lot of great qualities of an introvert I am passing along to my very extroverted children.