As you all know, from my over-sharing Instagram account, I am having a difficult Christmas season.
It’s hard to really nail the exact problem on the head. It’s not necessarily one thing, but the accumulation of many. Visitors, expectations to make everything perfect, missing the loved ones who are not with us this year. It’s all added up to make me a Grinch.
When I was a child Christmas Eve was spent with our entire extended family on my grandfathers birthday. Even though I haven’t been home in years his passing away last year made me regret all those absences. He was happy to leave this earth and be with Grandma, but that doesn’t make it any easier. My husbands grandmother was like my own grandmother, she took me in and cared for me. As an adult our Christmas tradition was moved to the in-laws and she was there for me every year. We were so similar and understood our need for alone time, space and a bit of bitching together always made us feel better. (Hey, I’m not perfect!)
Last year her absence was poignant and painful. I’m afraid of what is going to happen this year.
As I shared my frustrations with all of you, I noticed a trend. I wasn’t alone. For some reason or another many others are having a difficult Christmas. Maybe you’re missing loved ones too, or overwhelmed by a sense of perfection. Perhaps, you’re dreaming of a perfect first Christmas for your baby. Whatever it may be, we’re in this together.
I wish I had a way to wash away all of your frustrations, an answer to all your concerns, but this I can say. Your baby isn’t going to remember their first Christmas. Heck, they won’t even remember the first few. You could leave all the presents unwrapped and they would be excited! One picture of proof for their photo book is plenty. For those with older kids I’m pretty sure “Santa” can use gift bags and there will still be Christmas joy. Husbands are also really great with gift bags, too! Don’t be afraid to ask for their help. No husband is too busy to put other needs before his family.
For those of you missing loved ones, I truly wish we could all have one Christmas with them, but in honor of them I am going to open my heart a little more this year. Christmas is a time of giving. Think of how they would want you to celebrate. I know my grandparents wouldn’t want me to be cranky and rude. They would want me to have joy and welcome others with open arms.
You may have seen my encounter yesterday with the woman at target. She was so cheerful, she renewed my sense of Christmas joy! I’d like to think she was sent for a reason and I hope this helps make you feel at least a little bit better. If anyone wants to come bitch with me, feel free to message me on Instagram! Most importantly, remember you’re never alone. Christmas will come and go in a flash and the new year will be new beginnings!